Saturday, 3 March 2012
Swimming
The tar stuck to my feet as I walked down to the beach from our back; I was sweating all over I could not wait to get to the sea. I got into the water; a wave crushed me with its icy cold water. I can't breath, I splutter to the surface, I crawl up the beach back to the sand. I lie there, to lost for words. I run back home, not noticing the tar or the heat; I am covered in sand. I run a nice warm shower. "Ahhhh", that's better.
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I like how you went from describing the scene to sharing your personal experience of being crushed by a wave. I could really get lost in the experience you set up. One thing I was confused about 'the head' not sure where this came from - did you hurt your head by being crushed by the wave?
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